Unique and rare fragrance notes

I think we can all agree, there is nothing worse than a builder who takes you up on your offer for a cup of tea, then makes all kinds of highfalutin narcissistic demands on how they would like it served. I had a drainage guy come round yesterday and ask for 2.5 heaped teaspoons of sugar and for his teabag to be steeped for exactly 4 minutes. The ruddy cheek. The only other thing worse is turning up to a date, wearing the same generic perfume that her Ex-Boyfriend wore, and of course, the ex-boyfriend was something of a pleb. 

So here are some unique fragrances and notes that will certainly not be found on sale at your local petrol station. 

Ambergris

We've all seen Hannibal, the moment where a panel of 'noses' detect ambergris on one of Agent Starling's letters from Hannibal Lecter. It's how they manage to track down Hannibal's location because the note is so rare, in fact illegal now in most places as ambergris can be found deep in the digestive system of a sperm whale. It's been compared to horse manure before, but some people have found it to smell quite delightful. Farmers I imagine. 

This article on WDC, (Whale and Dolphin Community? Whales Do Count? Whales Don't Cry? Not specific on the website) tells you all you need to know about ambergris, except how much you can sell it for on eBay. The synthetic name for Ambergris is Ambroxan or Ambrofix and can be found in Montblanc Explorer Eau de Parfum. 

Frankincense

Gold, Frankincense and Grrrrrr! Bottom is still the best. What does Frankincense smell like though? According to this article in The Cut it is somewhat similar to that of rosemary, pine sap, and sweet amber,

For me, it reminds me of my trips to Oman and the tour guide pulling the 4x4 over so we (my then girlfriend at the time who shall remain nameless) could smell the wonderment of the frankincense trees that grow in abundance out there. Sidebar, I'm not -not naming my ex-girlfriend in some chivalrous bid to protect her identity, I simply can't remember her name. In fact she wasn't technically my girlfriend, I just met her on the flight over and managed to convince her on her second bottle of Prosecco that spending a week with me might be more fun than with her hen party. Sadly she turned out to be the hen which I was unaware of, and most of the week she spent blubbering on the phone to her fiancé begging to take her back). 

Back to me and the Frankincense trees in Oman. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. It was aromatic for sure, like sweet caramel and chocolate, a little smoky reminiscent of the cigar factories in Cuba. It was only when I opened my eyes I realised my travel guide had lit a cigar next to me and these were the flavours I was detecting. I got back in the car once he extinguished his cigar on his tongue like some hardened arm wrestler from a Sly Stallone movie, my then sobbing girlfriend was in the passenger seat calling the embassy asking if private jets back to Luton airport from Muscat can be claimed on Tesco travel insurance, and we rolled off towards the horizon. 

I'm going slightly off-piste with my recommendations here, but instead of a fragrance I'm going to add this anti-defying Frankincense cream on Amazon for £45 to my shopping list. 

Photo by Dave Hoefler on Unsplash

Driftwood

I've had an unhealthy relationship with driftwood ever since Chief Brody decided to pluck some out of the low tide in Jaws 2 only to find the charred remains of a water skier attached to it. Just the very thought of it now send shivers down my spine and to that spot that lets out squeaky noises. 

But outside of that, I'm sure the smell is quite illusory (a word I picked up watching American Psycho for the umpteenth time and had always wanted to crowbar into conversation). According to Wild Spirit Fragrances, Driftwood is a fresh, airy fragrance that combines salty ocean notes with star jasmine, wild freesia, and cedar

Anori by Le Couvent Maison de Parfum is renowned as being the trailblazing driftwood scent in the driftwood community, available for £78.78 on Amazon. 

Cannabis

'Honest Mum it's my new Cannabis perfume.' If for no other reason, any cannabis perfume will get you out of all kinds of scrapes. You can also buy some, spray some all over the jacket of that work colleague you feel could be (and should be) promoted ahead of you just as you're about to pair off in some Apprentice-style board meeting with the CEO. Unless the company is producing CBD oil then he'll be perceived a junkie getting high on the company's time, and the promotion is as good as yours. 

But of course I jest. The Cannabis smell can be quite alluring for many people, not just those on benefits. Baxter of California are onto this and have released Pacific Cannabis Eau de Parfum for your pleasure and is available for just £95 on Amazon. 

Photo by Paul Morley on Unsplash

Stinging Nettle

Last but not leaf, (least) *footnote, that gag works better if you imagine I have a lisp, which I don't, is Stinging Nettle. I once heard about Stinging Nettle soup, but never tried it. I'm pretty sure it tasted exactly how you imagine it would. You don't hear of Covent Garden Stinging Nettle Soup flying off the shelves in M&S do you? 

But what about Stinging Nettle fragrances? It does exist and what an ice breaker that would be on a first date. 'You've heard of scratch and sniff, well this is the literal opposite, this is sniff and scratch.' You could say flirtingly. But best to explain what you're wearing first so she gets the gag. Klar's Aftershave Classic has Stinging Nettle notes, and is quite accessibly priced on Amazon for £30.98. 

Main Photo by Christin Hume on Unsplash