Best & Worst Christmas TV Adverts 2021

Christmas Adverts - hey do we see them as much anymore as we used to? I mean if you're watching nothing but Netflix and Amazon Prime, (other streaming services are available) then you might not be exposed to as much Christmas paraphernalia. Still for someone like me that lives off YouTube tutorials and TED Talks, then Christmas Adverts are somewhat omnipotent. So today I thought I'd give you a quick run-down on which ones are hits and which ones are skippable.

ASDA 3/10

Ok so fairly paint by numbers and largely forgettable. As Mark Kermode would describe something this formulaic as putting 'Tab A into Slot B'. However, they get extra points for including Ravel's Bolero (one of my favourite pieces of music and for anyone that has seen the movie "10" with Dudley Moore, you'll know why). Still, they give it a good go.

M&S 6/10

So M&S released two Christmas Adverts, one with Percy Pig, and one showing a lady spiralling away through a kaleidoscopic tundra conveniently showing all the various products. It's more show than tell, and I'm already getting fatigued with the fairy tale tree chimes to patch over transitions. Sigh. Next.

John Lewis 7/10

AHhh John Lewis riffing on an E.T theme of an alien lost in the woods and only a little boy knows it exists. I was half hoping to hear baby Tilda Swinton (the alien child) say I'll be right here in a Debra Winger voice, but then I guess we can't have everything. And after all, E.T Did come home for the Sky Christmas commercial back in 2019. 

Disney 6/10

Wow this was a journey. It's an interesting subject, what about the new guy in the room. The stepdad, or the new boyfriend, etc. I do wonder if adverts need to be over 3 and a half minutes long, but Christmas only comes once a year so lets indulge. I think the most unrealistic thing about the advert is the guy baking all the way through the night to fix a house cake for the kids. We all know that no woman alive will let a man bake a cake on his own without interfering. Left to his own devices that dream house cake would look like a miniature that Godzilla ripped through. 

Aldi 9/10

Will Ebanana Scrooge discover his Christmas spirit? Love this one. Not since the late Richard Whitely have I been charmed to my core by top drawer puns and wordplay such as 'Marcus Radishford' and 'this is for pudding up with me'. All condensed into 1 minute 20, take note Disney. 

Barbour 6/10

It feels the most 'commercial' of all the adverts. And in all honesty I've never gotten Paddington Bear. This feels like a kids advert for an adults brand. But I'd be lying if I didn't say I was touched by the little bears note, thanking Mr Brown. Christ do I need to watch Paddington Bear films now? Well alright. 

Boots 8/10

Boy have they thrown the kitchen sink at this one. The real magic of this advert is how do they make pharmaceutical products into something interesting. How can they weave a narrative around bath bubbles, blogger lamps, lipstick and pushchairs. Well of course it's saccharin, it's ladled with cheese, but it's effective and people like it. And really what's not to like. 

Argos 7/10

Boy this is meh. The split screens and the CGI is slightly nauseating. It's trying too hard. This Argos advert is the equivalent of a nice spaghetti dinner that looked good in the pictures in the recipe book, but turned out to be so inedible, it's been thrown across the kitchen, has smashed spectacularly against the tiles, and is now sliding down hopelessly to the floor.