Road Trip Ready: Packing and Preparing for Memorable Journeys

Preparing for a road trip is essential to ensure a smooth and enjoyable journey. Here are some of the best ways to prepare:

1. Plan Your Route: Decide on your destination and the route you'll take. Don't bother going an hour out of your way to see elderly relatives. Chances are they hate your guts anyway. That's why you don't get the tenner in your Christmas cards anymore. Use GPS or navigation apps to plan your route and check for traffic or construction updates. I always use Google Maps, but everyone is talking about WAZE.

2. Vehicle Check: Service your car: Get an oil change, check brakes, tires, and all fluids.Or better yet, get someone that knows what they're doing to check it over. I always find planning a road trip right after an MOT is the best option. Especially if it passes. Ensure your spare tire, jack, and tools are in good condition. It always helps to take someone on the road trip that knows how to change a tire. After all you'll be busy documenting it all for instagram. Fill up the gas tank, and consider joining a roadside assistance program. Yes fill it up, it hurts but fill it up all the way. Casually leave the receipt on display in the drinks well to let everyone know how extortionate the prices of petrol are right now.

3. Pack Essentials: Create a packing list: Include clothing, toiletries, medications, and any special items you'll need. People commonly forget their reading glasses and/or their teeth retainers. Make sure you bring a bog roll from home, you just can't trust these service stations anymore. Let's just say TESCO Blue and White stripe toilet paper is a distant second to a loyal and thoroughly absorbent pair of knee length socks. Pack light: Only bring what's necessary to avoid clutter in the car. Including roommates. Girlfriend's best friends' best friend's girlfriend. Don't forget chargers, entertainment (books, music, podcasts), and travel documents (ID, insurance, registration). Actually forget books, The only thing you'll read having been stuck in traffic for two hours on the north circular is the back of your own eyelids.

4. Emergency Kit: Prepare an emergency kit with items like a first-aid kit, flashlight, batteries, jumper cables, and a multi-tool. And by Multi-tool I mean your Dad, eldest Brother or work mate subscribes to Car Weekly Magazine

5. Lodging: Book accommodations in advance, especially if you're traveling during peak seasons.

A) You'll never do this, but I thought I'd mention it anyway. Have a backup plan in case your original lodging falls through.

B) See A.

6. Food and Water:  Carry a cooler with snacks, drinks, and perishable items. Try and pack healthy. Which means no stopping off at any service station, welcome breaks or Drive Thrus. Consider reusable water bottles to stay hydrated. But also lay down some 'no lipstick rules' on the shared water bottles. If you must, redirect the nozzle of the windscreen washer so the trajectory squirts perfectly in her mouth as she hangs it out the passenger window.

7. Entertainment: Download music, podcasts, or audiobooks for entertainment during the drive. If you're driving she has to listen to Radio 6 or BBC 5 Live. If she's driving there can be a compromise, Absolute Rock. Bring travel games or activities for passengers, especially if you're traveling with kids. If you'd like them to unclip their seatbelts and shoulder roll out of a moving vehicle, simply suggest 'does anyone fancy a game of eye-spy?'

8. Weather and Season: Check the weather forecast for your route and destination. Bear in mind most weather apps make it up as they go. Like Horologists or Trump during any election rally speech. Adjust your packing and plans based on the expected weather conditions. Umbrella, raincoat etc. If you're going to Wimbledon and its planned rain for the day, best stay at home and watch Cliff Richard sing to an empty centre court on the tele. Or not.

9. Breaks and Rest Stops: Plan regular breaks to rest, stretch, and stay alert while driving. I found slapping yourself in the face and keeping the windows down helps. If your partner is driving best to get her to sign a disclaimer before doing the same to her. Research rest areas, scenic stops, and attractions along your route.

But you won't do that. Unless there are craft breweries or famous Bond locations enroute in which case...

10. Safety: Share your itinerary with a friend or family member, including expected arrival times. Ohh yeah remember that guy in that film who went cycling, fell down a cave and had to chop off his own arm? Christ that film gave me the heeby jeebies. Because of that film I always announce where I'm going. Even if it's from the kitchen to the toilet. Carry a fully charged mobile phone and a car charger. And make she has hers. Because she won't and she'll want to use yours. And it will be very painful when she has full power and you have just enough power to see the logo come on and disappear into darkness.

11. Money and Payment: Carry some cash for tolls, parking, or emergencies. A handy five pound note will shoe away anyone looking to clean your windscreen at the stoplights. Admittedly they really need doing right? Inform your bank of your travel plans if you plan to use credit or debit cards. You won't do that, but don't say I didn't warn you.

By thoroughly preparing for your road trip, you'll enhance safety, comfort, and overall enjoyment of your adventure. Remember to stay flexible and adaptable, as unexpected situations can arise during any journey.