LA COLOMBE: ONE OF THE FINEST RESTAURANTS IN THE WORLD

Article by Guest Author Peter Brooker

La Colombe is one of the finest restaurants in Cape Town, if not the world. La Colombe, French for The Dove, it is a 3 star Michelin restaurant that boasts contemporary cuisine fusing local ingredients with French flair in upmarket vineyard restaurant.

There are two levels of security, which the Uber driver nullifies with a quick flash of his ID card. Inside the restaurant the waitress Chelsea, wearing all black in an attempt I'm sure to appropriate some much needed svelteness to her frame, sits us at the corner window overlooking the vineyard. 

After a sparkling white wine aperitif, (I'm reticent to order my usual Negroni on account that whilst in South Africa, one must try and consume as much local produce as humanely possible) Anastasia orders the Rotsbank, declining the offer to upgrade to the wine and food pairing for an extra 3795 Rand, roughly an additional £158 pounds. We also declined all further supplements, a wine cellar experience and a meeting with the chef. 

The chef, had left a small hand written note in an envelope no bigger than a postage stamp. So small in fact Chelsea had to direct us to it. Inside it read, 

"Food is our theatre, we hope you enjoy the show," James Gaag. 

With set menu of seven courses if the food was indeed theatre one might compare it to Van Hove’s stage play Obsession featuring Jude Law which ran at the Barbican in 2017, unashamedly bloated and knowingly pretentious. 

Yet neither of these are a sleight. To give you an idea napkins are served in a wicker basket of ice, which Chelsea pours hot water over to create a steamy dry smoke effect. 

'They're just bloody napkins," I tell Anastasia, although I've already succumbed to filming the damn thing. 

Not all is as it seems. The apple is actually a duck pate. The mushroom is a butter spread, and Chelsea the waitress does not live in Chelsea, support Chelsea football club nor do her parents. 

The Tuna Colombe comes served in a can you'd expect to serve your cat. But it's divine. As is the Namibian crab and the Karoo Wagyu with Pomme puree which compounds my theory that not only does everything taste better in French, it sounds better too.(Pomme puree effectively being, mash potatoes). 

The only down note was the dessert. The cheese and honey, which although served in a playful ceramic Russian doll pyramid pot, was not a fusion I cared for. 

But all in all, a faultless theatrical food performance. Ironically the final dish (rhubarb) was served with a glass bowl filled with rose buds. Perhaps a little self-congratulatory, but they'd earned it. 

Photo by Zoë Reeve on Unsplash